Sunday, November 23, 2014

the inflated world of blogging

Blogging is hard. (I kept trying to rewrite that sentence to sound more engaging, but hey, simplicity is all you need sometimes.) 




For a while now I've been wondering if I want to continue blogging and having this little place in the internet. There is so much expected of bloggers, you must post every day, you must always look impeccable, you need to have new clothes in every single post, and you better snap back into shape instantly after having a baby. 


It's so easy to feel inadequate. There are those big names that pull in thousands upon thousands of followers. You don't know how they do it but you're mesmerized by their success and how perfect their lives seem. They're beautiful, skinny, rich, have endless amounts of clothes. I've thought that maybe if I'm just like them I'll be successful too! But their lives have always seemed so unattainable for me. 


I look at Amber's blog and I know I'll never be as skinny and gorgeous as her. I'll probably never have as devout a following as Natalie that gets me a book deal. I won't have the fashion ideas or guts to pull off fur vests like Sydney. Or make $960,000/year from my blog like Rachel.


Blogging can make you feel like a failure in so many ways. It has made me more insecure because I felt like I needed to compete with these women which is practically impossible. 


But probably my least favorite part was feeling like everything I was doing had to be documented for my blog so all these fun outings felt unnatural and fake. I caught myself trying to paint my life more elegantly than it is and I shouldn't do that. I don't want anyone to feel bad about themselves because of me! I want everyone to feel empowered and like they aren't alone because of my blog. 


My husband is in school and I stay at home with my baby (which is a topic for another post entirely). I can't afford $1,000 shoes. I don't have someone to take my pictures and edit them with Photoshop every day. Heck, most days I don't even get out of my pajamas or brush my hair. I don't have an adorable home with hardwood floors and white walls. We live in an old apartment that's in a scary part of town where some days I'm afraid to leave because there are drunk men fighting outside or homeless people stationed by our car yelling at anyone who walks by.


For so long I've been afraid of being me because my life isn't glamorous. I'm a new mom in a new city that requires parallel parking everywhere I go and of course I have no idea how to parallel park (this subject also deserves a blog post of it's own). My husband is so busy with school because he's working incredibly hard. Right now we don't have the time or money to go on fancy trips and see the world. Our lives really aren't that interesting and we're pretty ordinary, which is hard when every blogger seems extraordinary. 


I guess the point of this post is to tell you guys that I'm just me. I'm a real person. I blog because I love writing and I love documenting my life experiences. And for now on I'm going to write about what I want to write about. I'm going to post frumpy, cheap outfits since that's pretty much all I wear and I won't feel ashamed to say I got my shoes from Payless anymore! I'll probably post about my baby a lot because she's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'll post about my insecurities. And I'll post about the happiest moments in my life. I don't want people to follow me because they want to be me or envy my life, but because they (you!) like my writing and like me as a person. 


So to all my readers, I vow to never make my life look more extravagant than it is and I'm going to try to be a blogger who is honest and real yet successful (and wears the same clothes over and over). 


Thank you for listening. Hopefully now I'll blog more since I won't feel required to have something witty along with a new outfit, pretty hair, a sweet backdrop, and edited pictures with every post (no wonder I pretty much stopped blogging for a while, ain't got no time for that!). And maybe now I won't feel like I'm selling my soul in order to blog, instead I'll feel like I'm sharing my soul for everyone to see.


Here goes one more shot at this whole blogging thing, wish me luck!


(Disclosure, I have absolutely nothing against those blogs mentioned above, I love them all and admire those women but I just need to be me in order to keep blogging and that was the point of this post.) 









xo


23 comments:

  1. <3 love it Lauren! I'll be reading!

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  2. Finally, a new blog post. :) I have kept checking back and was always disappointed that there were no news because I love reading your posts! To be honest with you, your blog is one of my all time favorite because it is not some glossy advertisement, pretending to be something it is not. Neither of the above mentioned bloggers nor all the other big bloggers like Love Taza or Bluebird actually have an enviable life. They all life under such a high amount of pressure, often with no possiblity to just vent about their day because they have to keep up the image so that the sponsors and readers will stay. You and your husband are working hard to have a nice life and honestly, that is so much better than selling your children (or their images) to the highest bidder or constantly buying new clothes to "keep up with the Joneses". You can and should be so very proud of what you are doing, on the good and the bad days and there are so many readers out there who love to tag along on your journey and day to day life. Don't ever feel pressured to gloss it all over - stay true to your voices because it really suits you so well!

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    1. Caro your comments ALWAYS make my day. Comments like yours are what always keep me going in the blogging world and how I know I'm doing something right. I'll keep blogging for you and all my other readers out there that are so fantastic, and also for me. Thanks for reading, you're the best!
      xo

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  3. I've missed your blog, please keep it up! The openness and sincerity of your posts are the best. :) In this life where we have the internet we are always comparing ourselves! It is SO hard not to do. Anyways, keep it up! :D

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    1. Thank you Mollie! I had no idea I'd get such positive responses makes me want to keep on blogging even more!
      xo

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  4. Love this post! I've missed reading your blog and honestly I've never felt like your blog is you "bragging" about your life or anything. I'm glad you wrote this though because there are some women out there that use blogging merely to compete with others and show others that they have their life together in every way possible. I blog because it's an easy way to journal and document life. I'm looking forward to seeing more posts from you and hope to see more pictures of your darling little girl!

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    1. Thank you Kelly! I agree, blogging is so much easier than journaling and much more fun! :)
      xo

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  5. perfect bloggers bug the heck out of me. i will never know how they can all afford $1000 dollar outfits every week...especially when they claim they are poor! HA! anyways...never compare yourself to the snippets of pure perfection that they portray. you are comparing their highlight reel to you behind the scenes. loved this post.

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    1. Haha seriously! I can't believe how expensive some outfits are. I saw this coat I liked on a blog and I clicked on the link, only $1,089. No big deal. FREAK I WISH! Haha, I love your blog Kerri and thanks for reading mine! Miss you :)
      xo

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  6. Amen Sister! A friend of mine shared your post on Facebook and I'm so glad I read it. I'm so tired of feeling inadequate when reading other people's blogs and the perfect life they portray. I love that you want to share real life. That's what we need to see.

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    1. Thank you Rachel! I'm so glad that this post was able to help other people besides myself! At first I was hesitant to write it, I thought people would be defensive of their blogger ideals but so far everyone is so supportive and I'm just blown away by how many people have said they feel the same way I do. Makes me want to just keep on blogging and reaching everyone who is tired of seeing everyone's "perfect" lives. Thanks for reading!
      xo

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  7. You don't even know me (found your blog through a friend) but I think I knew your husband growing up, Marysville stake?
    Anyway love Love LOVE this post! Sometimes blogging just seems like too much work - what with having to look and live (fake) the perfect life. So refreshing to see someone not lose focus of why they started blogging. Keep it up! Plus it helps me to feel better about being totally poor and not able to buy new clothes every day... or week... or month :)
    PS. Seattle totally sucks sometimes. I live north of the city and luckily not nearly as much parallel parking but oh so many sketchy people!

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    1. Yeah he's from Marysville! What's your name? Thank you so much for reading and being so supportive! I'm glad I'm able to reach so many people who understand exactly how I feel. I kept thinking there needs to be a blog that is realistic to the average person, then I thought I'd try and be that blog. Hopefully all continues to go well! Haha and a big YES to those sketchy people in Seattle. The city is beautiful but there are some super scary parts.
      xo

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    2. I knew it! Kelsey Williams - I was in an Arlington ward. We didn't really know each other but our mom's were best friends haha! Totally creepy, but I recognized his mom in the video you posted about when you found out you were pregnant and put two and two together. Totally cried during that video ps. Anyway love your blog! Love your honesty! Your baby is adorable!

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    3. That's so awesome! I love how small the world is! Cathy is the best, I married into a great family! Man, that video still makes me cry every time I watch it haha so many feelers.

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  8. I'm totally with you on this! The blogs I love to read the most (including yours) are down to earth, relatable women. I like knowing that there are people out there, like me, who don't just roll around in dough. I like hearing how people overcome struggles in their lives and reach for a better life like your husband and yourself are doing. I love viewing blogs like the ones you mentioned for inspiration here and there but I just can't relate. My house is never that impeccable, my clothes aren't designer, my hair isn't perfectly curled.... etc, etc. I have been following your blog because your personality is sweet, your style is chic and attainable and you seem like a legit nice person. So keep doing your thing!! You're in a new season of life and it'll be fun to see how you manage it.... it'll give me good tips for when I become a mommy!

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    1. Thank you!! I feel the same way, I love looking at those blogs but it just seems to unrealistic for me to achieve to their level of perfctness haha. Thanks for reading Stephie!
      xo

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  9. Girl! Dont even worry about it. I rarely blog, because I feel like I have nothing to contribute, and lack of inspiration. I love just reading "real" stories. I think you're great. Also someone makes over 900,000$/ year from their blog!?!!?! What is this madness!

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    1. Hah I felt the same way when I found that out, I was like "wow, I'm doing it wrong!". To make enough from blogging for that to count as a job would probably be the greatest thing in the world.
      Thanks for reading!!
      xo

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  10. Okay I love this post. You're absolutely right, the world of blogging can be ridiculous, and hold bloggers to impossibly high standards! Thanks so much for sharing. I've always had a hard time comparing myself to bloggers/others on the internet, and it absolutely wears ya down!
    But I've always loved your blog, and loved how real you seem through it. Kudos to you for having the guts to come out and be real!!

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    1. Thanks Haleigh! I'm glad someone else feels the same way and can relate! I'm so excited for you to have your baby, your due date is just right around the corner!! It'll be the most magical moment of your life - so soak it up and enjoy it which you will ;) and when you're feeling a more rested and healed from birth we should definitely get together for some hot chocolate :)
      xo

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