I don't go off on tangents very often, actually I don't think I ever have, but today I just got something I gotta say.
I started nannying a 4-year-old boy who has leukemia, and it is rough. Sitting with him all day while he's in the hospital, holding his hand as he gets injected with chemo, and caressing his face as he moans in pain is heart breaking. When I walk around there are bald children everywhere, hooked up to IV's. Some are happy, and some are scared. Either way it's tear-jerking.
The other day I walked by a door that had a huge glittery sign pasted on it that read, "Last round of chemo for Sam!!" I smiled at the sign, and the thought that this kid would finally start having a normal life, be able to play with other children, and go to school. But the very next door was open, and in there was a small child who was curled up in a ball facing the door and whimpering. A parent was rubbing his back, and trying to sooth him, but he just looked at me, probably wondering why I was okay and he wasn't, and why he was in so much pain.
To me, nothing is harder than watching an innocent child suffer through that.
Now all I can hope for is a cure, and that these children will be okay. That someday they'll have their last round of chemo and they'll live a wonderful life, go to school, get married, and have children of their own. Because these children deserve to live.
The little boy I nanny who draws me pictures, and reaches for my hand, and offers me his lunch because he noticed I hadn't eaten much all day, deserves to live. And when I look down at his big brown eyes and I see him smiling it makes me think that if he can smile through this, then I can smile through anything.
So here's to Jesse and to all the other boys and girls who have cancer or other illnesses and spend the majority of their days in a hospital bed. To all the children who laugh in the worst of times, who comfort their own parents who weep at their bedside, who look out the window and ask if they'll ever get to play at that park, or feel the snow on their tongues. Here's to every single one of them, those angels who are so perfect and kind, because they deserve to be loved, admired, and thought of. Here's to them.
Alright now that I have vented, here's a fashion post full of quirkiness and awesomeness. Enjoy :)
|Gotta get that volume!|
|"Okay Josh... look at my eyes" was being said during this picture.|
Pants: American Eagle
Shoes: Forever 21
-We were supposed to go downstairs for games with Josh's family in like 10 minutes, so Josh was just on his computer and I was laying on our bed, looking at the ceiling. And then I decided to close my eyes, juuuust for a second...
Don't know when it happened, but I went out cold.Into the deepest slumber of my life. Apparently Josh tried everything to make me up. He says he laid on top of me and kissed my face a bunch of times, tried tickling/licking me. But nothing happened. He then tried talking to me really loudly, saying it was time to play games, but I didn't flinch.
He slightly shook me, and buried me with blankets (I think he was having too much fun), basically I was practically dead.
And I don't even remember a thing. Man, I am THE oddest sleeper ever.
-Josh and I have been staying at relatives houses while doing our internships and while we were staying in one house by ourselves something very interesting happened.
I opened the freezer and crouched down to get some ice cream and something caught my eye. I turned my head and in the bottom of the door laid a dead bird... Not a dead skinned, unrecognizable bird, but the feathers, the head, the eye balls-everything was still there. It looked alive, as if it was just staring at me. And it's beak was slightly opened which made it look even creepier. Basically I was terrified. I screamed, feel on my bum, and scurried away crab style.
Josh found my expression extremely entertaining, turns out he's more used to that kind of stuff since most of his relatives are big hunters. And this story doesn't stop there. Guess who had a nightmare about that bird the very next night? Me. I dreamt it came alive and started attacking me after I opened the fridge again.
After that I couldn't open the freezer door again.
-Taking Josie (Josh's grandfather's dog) out for a walk, and pretty much getting walked myself. Dang that girl has muscles.
|I like her spots.|
-Picking out which dental schools Josh is going to apply to and signing him up for the DAT! *fingers crossed (University of Washington or University of North Carolina, please, please, please!!!) Someone, please just sent me to the coast somewhere and I'll be a happy camper.
-Making New Years resolutions WITH the hubster, including weight and exercise goals. It's so much easier keeping your resolutions when someone else made the same ones.
Alright everyone. Just one small question.
I'm thinking about dyeing or highlighting my hair, which I've never done before. Ever. I'm thinking either make it more blonde ooooor go brunette) I think it would make my eyes pop more). So I'm wondering what you all think. I'm sure at least some of you guys have had good/bad experiences with hair coloring and have plenty of advice. So please-help-me!