Saturday, January 12, 2013

Life Lately

I don't go off on tangents very often, actually I don't think I ever have, but today I just got something I gotta say.

I started nannying a 4-year-old boy who has leukemia, and it is rough. Sitting with him all day while he's in the hospital, holding his hand as he gets injected with chemo, and caressing his face as he moans in pain is heart breaking. When I walk around there are bald children everywhere, hooked up to IV's. Some are happy, and some are scared. Either way it's tear-jerking. 

The other day I walked by a door that had a huge glittery sign pasted on it that read, "Last round of chemo for Sam!!" I smiled at the sign, and the thought that this kid would finally start having a normal life, be able to play with other children, and go to school. But the very next door was open, and in there was a small child who was curled up in a ball facing the door and whimpering. A parent was rubbing his back, and trying to sooth him, but he just looked at me, probably wondering why I was okay and he wasn't, and why he was in so much pain. 

To me, nothing is harder than watching an innocent child suffer through that.

Now all I can hope for is a cure, and that these children will be okay. That someday they'll have their last round of chemo and they'll live a wonderful life, go to school, get married, and have children of their own. Because these children deserve to live. 

The little boy I nanny who draws me pictures, and reaches for my hand, and offers me his lunch because he noticed I hadn't eaten much all day, deserves to live. And when I look down at his big brown eyes and I see him smiling it makes me think that if he can smile through this, then I can smile through anything. 

So here's to Jesse and to all the other boys and girls who have cancer or other illnesses and spend the majority of their days in a hospital bed. To all the children who laugh in the worst of times, who comfort their own parents who weep at their bedside, who look out the window and ask if they'll ever get to play at that park, or feel the snow on their tongues. Here's to every single one of them, those angels who are so perfect and kind, because they deserve to be loved, admired, and thought of. Here's to them.

Alright now that I have vented, here's a fashion post full of quirkiness and awesomeness. Enjoy :)

Gotta get that volume!
"Okay Josh... look at my eyes" was being said during this picture.
Where I got it:
Shirt: Modcloth
Pants: American Eagle
Belt: Target
Shoes: Forever 21


-We were supposed to go downstairs for games with Josh's family in like 10 minutes, so Josh was just on his computer and I was laying on our bed, looking at the ceiling. And then I decided to close my eyes, juuuust for a second...

 Don't know when it happened, but I went out cold.Into the deepest slumber of my life. Apparently Josh tried everything to make me up. He says he laid on top of me and kissed my face a bunch of times, tried tickling/licking me. But nothing happened. He then tried talking to me really loudly, saying it was time to play games, but I didn't flinch. 

He slightly shook me, and buried me with blankets (I think he was having too much fun), basically I was practically dead. 

And I don't even remember a thing. Man, I am THE oddest sleeper ever. 

-Josh and I have been staying at relatives houses while doing our internships and while we were staying in one house by ourselves something very interesting happened.

I opened the freezer and crouched down to get some ice cream and something caught my eye. I turned my head and in the bottom of the door laid a dead bird... Not a dead skinned, unrecognizable bird, but the feathers, the head, the eye balls-everything was still there. It looked alive, as if it was just staring at me. And it's beak was slightly opened which made it look even creepier. Basically I was terrified. I screamed, feel on my bum, and scurried away crab style. 

Josh found my expression extremely entertaining, turns out he's more used to that kind of stuff since most of his relatives are big hunters. And this story doesn't stop there. Guess who had a nightmare about that bird the very next night? Me. I dreamt it came alive and started attacking me after I opened the fridge again. 

After that I couldn't open the freezer door again.

-Taking Josie (Josh's grandfather's dog) out for a walk, and pretty much getting walked myself. Dang that girl has muscles. 
I like her spots.
-Reading The Screwtape Letters by C.S Lewis with my mama long distance style, and chatting about the deeper meanings of the novel and what it all means. I love that woman to pieces! 

-Picking out which dental schools Josh is going to apply to and signing him up for the DAT! *fingers crossed (University of Washington or University of North Carolina, please, please, please!!!) Someone, please just sent me to the coast somewhere and I'll be a happy camper. 

-Making New Years resolutions WITH the hubster, including weight and exercise goals. It's so much easier keeping your resolutions when someone else made the same ones. 

Alright everyone. Just one small question.

I'm thinking about dyeing or highlighting my hair, which I've never done before. Ever. I'm thinking either make it more blonde ooooor go brunette) I think it would make my eyes pop more). So I'm wondering what you all think. I'm sure at least some of you guys have had good/bad experiences with hair coloring and have plenty of advice. So please-help-me!



  1. i always thought you would be a super hot brunette! brown hair and blue eyes is like the best combination everrrrr.

  2. stumbled on your blog via the blog hop at:

    VERY VERY cute pics! loving that red top!

    New follower via email! :-)

  3. That story is heart wrenching. Seriously. That tugged at my heart strings big time. Poor kids! You are a strong strong lady for being there for that little boy. Also, your hair is beautiful & I want your outfits. Umm...all of them.

  4. Okay, you are absolutely adorable girl! Loving your outfit, this post and the song choice ;)
    xo TJ

  5. Aw. I'm glad the boy you're nannying for is almost done with chemo, and I hope that does the job and he's in the clear. That kids can have cancer is just one of the saddest facts in existence.

    On the upside, you look great. Love the blouse and the hair in these photos. :)

  6. I love that top! I think I need one just like it!

  7. I love this look! I am obsessed with polka dots at the moment lol I found you through the Almost Friday blog hop. I am your newest follow if you get a chance I would love for you to check my blog out. Have a great day!


  8. I love your shirt very much!
    I respect you for being strong and help that small boy to fight for his life.

    Have a nice day.
    I'm Carmen, I live in Italy and I follow you. If you wanna visit my blog, here it is:

  9. just discovered your blog through the pleated poppy and would love to follow each other! xo

  10. Thanks for joining the blog hop. Btw, I am co-hosting a jewelry swap. If you'd like to participate - Bauble Swap!

  11. You're beautiful inside and out. Praying for Jesse...and for you, as you spend time with him. Glad you linked up with the Imperfect Prose community.

  12. Here from the blog hop - I'm excited to be a new follower! The "venting session" that you wrote about was very touching. I would definitely have a difficult time doing what you do so I admire you for your work.

    Can't wait to read more!

  13. Stopping by to say hello! Found you through the Aloha Blog Hop!

    -Kelly :)

  14. Hi, Lauren! I followed from Aloha Friday. I really love that top! You have great style. :) Have a wonderful weekend!

  15. -prayers for those sweet babies.
    -love your polka dots.
    -your hair is fab- don't do a thing (think of the maintanence!) but...if you must, try the InStyle magazine hair-tryer-oner. Is that a word? It's fun to do...check it out on their site.

    Cheers to you and your weekend and we hope to see you on the PHoto Friday Blog hop again next week...thanks for linking up with us!

  16. "here's to Jesse and to all the other boys and girls who have cancer" and blessing to you.
    I need your fashion help. :) You are lovely.

  17. oh lauren. this made me well up with tears. as a mother of two boys i can barely handle the thought of these children dying ... thank you for helping me to realize what's important today. for changing my perspective. thanks for linking up with IP! e.

  18. Red polka dots, that's something I don't have in my closet! You are just too adorable. Stopping by from Aloha Friday and I am now your newest follower. I look forward to a long blog relationship with you and can't wait to see what you come up with next!


  19. Hello!!

    Found you on the blog hop. I am your newest follower. I really love your blog.
    Would you care to give me a quick follow back? :


  20. I really regret dying my hair 2 years ago...when you dye it you have to keep up with your roots and if you don't want to dye it anymore you have to wait for it to grow out. It's been almost 2 years since I dyed mine and I still have part of it that isn't fully my natural color!

  21. Hey! I have just found your blog and I really love it. I was especially touched by the first story you shared. You mean so much to that little boy. My husband had cancer when he was a child and it is so wonderful that he did have his last chemo then. Sadly the cancer has returned just recently. We are grateful to be members of the church so that we understand the eternal perspective. Anyways thank you for your inspiring message at the beginning. <3